COVID-19: Message From our Founder
March 25, 2020
Like the rest of you, I have struggled with the events of the past few weeks, and am still trying to wrap my brain around our state as a world. Interestingly, on several occasions, my mind has been drawn to memories of our first days after diagnosis. I know you will relate as I set the scene...
My entire life shifted with our CDH diagnosis. I remember trying to distract myself with a trip to Costco the next day, and observing people around me, knowing that my entire world was going to be forever different, and they had ZERO idea. I felt really alone, and couldn’t explain all my emotions. I grieved, mourned, and worried CONSTANTLY. I grasped for some sense of “normalcy.” I tried not to let my stress come out as anger on my innocent kiddos. I went to bed, hoping for rest, and wanted to wake up to a new world.
In a similar way, globally, our world has experienced a shift with the COVID-19 pandemic. During the last few weeks, I experienced those same “new CDH diagnosis emotions” again, while shopping in Costco. My unsettled emotions seemed so familiar. But this time, I was not alone in my worries. We are ALL concerned, grieving the loss of activities that are on hold, gatherings postponed, job loss, feelings of scarcity, fear of illness, and adjusting to a temporary new way of life. I am seeing the same look on everyone’s face; because we are all in the same “boat.” Everyone’s lives’ have come to a screeching halt- while we still try to carry on.
We went from hearing about this mysterious virus in China, to watching it begin to play out in Italy, across several nations, and now in our own backyard. We are worried about the economy, sheltering in place, isolating, social-distancing, and looking out for one another. We are concerned for loved ones over-seas, the vulnerable, the aged. Here in Utah, we experienced an (unusual) 5.7 earthquake that literally shook me awake last Wednesday morning. My heart was racing, and my mind was confused. Mass transit temporarily shut down, another wave of panicked shoppers appeared at stores as we heard (false) rumors of a bigger quake coming that same day. I worried about my family. I thought, “what else could possibly happen?!”
I came across this poem, and it spoke directly to my soul! I have read it several times over the last several days. I love it because I think this is what I need to focus on. I can’t live in panic and fear. It’s just not sustainable. As difficult as this has been, I have observed our world coming together in a way that is not typical. I don’t know anyone living in Iran, South Korea, China, or many other nations, but I pray for their people daily. I pray for my nephew Addison, serving a church mission in Milan, Italy. I know that some how, some way, we will come out stronger on the other end.
I am being intentional about this chapter of life that will come and go, and just like my CDH journey, I may wish for (small) parts of it to play out again- but only to learn the invaluable lessons. I am letting myself find humor to laugh, putting my phone down more, being “present,” and digging deep, seeking out the joy and healing that will most certainly happen when this is over, and all along the way. I am spending more time doing those things with my family that our usual busy schedule just doesn’t allow for. Maybe, just maybe, there really is that silver lining we are looking for.
Let’s help each other, build, encourage, inspire, as we navigate this together. We are stronger as we band together-6 feet apart, of course! ;) And now, we can tell people- “I know how you feel because that is how I felt when I learned my baby would be born with CDH.” The ability to relate with each other is invaluable and so needed in our world!
- Annie Zolman, Founder, Tiny Hero
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