Surviving the CDH Journey with Other Kids
The Ronald McDonald House is an incredible asset for families with children in the hospital, and when people ask how we survived, we answer – the Ronald McDonald House. We stayed from January 20th to April 30th. My family consists of Ava, our CDH baby, her two older siblings, Levi and Everley, and my husband, Matt. When Ava was born, Levi and Everley were 5 and 2, respectively. We not only survived but in my opinion, we thrived when Ava was in the hospital, which I was not expecting. Here’s how my family got through it.
Organization: First, it’s important to understand that each family gets one room when staying at the Ronald McDonald House. The room consists of 2 double beds and a bathroom. My first survival tip is organization. We traveled light per the advice of veteran CDH families, but when we got to St. Pete, one of the first things I did was organize our room. I added a shoe holder to the back of the bathroom door to store medicines and toiletries. I got hangers to hang up as many clothes as I could. I got a plastic 3-drawer dresser for the kids’ clothes, and I also got a small desk organizer for their artwork from school. I designated a little niche next to the bathroom door where I put command hooks for backpacks and a basket for our shoes. Once a week, we would completely clean out the room. Bonus tip: get shoe spray. Shoes get pretty dang stinky in that little room with little filtration.
Organization will definitely help save your whole family’s sanity.
We also moved the furniture a bit in the room and stashed Everley’s toddler bed in the corner along with her Peppa Pig playhouse. Levi had one of the double beds and took over one of the other corners with his toys. They both had their own space, and it was much easier when everything had a place.
Packing Light: When it came to packing, I brought 10 days’ worth of clothes for each family member. Each kid had a small Tupperware container full of special toys. We each brought our own pillows, and the kids brought their special blankets. We bought a clearance comforter and a memory foam mattress topper from Target. I brought a small bag full of special things for Ava, like beanies I made and her Tiny Hero onesies. Once we got a better understanding of Ava’s needs, we were better able to purchase what she needed, so I’m really happy we didn’t bring a ton of stuff for her.
Schedule: The next tip is to have a schedule. This one is tough because we really wanted to spend as much time at the hospital as possible, and it was inevitable that one of the big kids would have a sniffle or something, and we wouldn’t be able to bring them up. There was also a time when the kids being there raised Ava’s blood pressure and heart rate, and so they weren’t allowed. However, in general, our days went like this: get ready, have breakfast, Matt would go to the hospital, I would take the kids to school, then go to the hospital. Everley had a half-day preschool, and Levi would go full day to kindergarten. Mid-day, I would pick up Everley and bring her home to RMH for lunch and a nap, then while she was napping, Matt would pick up Levi and take him to RJ’s. RJ’s is a fantastic resource at John’s Hopkins All Children’s Hospital. You can drop your 5+ child off at RJ’s, and they have crafts, games, and other fun things for siblings to do. After RJ’s, we would all eat dinner together at the Ronald McDonald house, and the kids would play. We would get them upstairs for a bath and bed, and then I would go back to the hospital for a couple of hours. The first couple of weeks, we had to deal with sickness, setting up schooling, and getting a couple of vaccines needed for school, so things were a bit out of sorts. Our kids thrive on having a schedule, and once they got into the swing of things, they became much more comfortable with everything.
Make friends: I think one of the best things for our entire family was the camaraderie of the Ronald McDonald house. Our kids had tons of friends to play with, and we had other CDH parents who understood what we were going through first-hand.
Don’t be afraid to say no: There are treats coming out of your eyeballs at the RMH. There are many grown-ups, and most of them will absolutely say YES to the second cookie or the extra toy. It’s done with good intentions, it’s lovely and wonderful, but you have to take care of the sore tummy or the sense of entitlement that results in the spoiling. Remember that you are their parent, and you still make the rules.
Explore the city: Don’t be afraid to take advantage of the benefits Ronald McDonald House has to offer. One Saturday, the kids and I rode the trolley all around town. It was free, and the driver, Corinthian, was a great tour guide. We took walks around USF St. Pete and played at a playground that was right on the ocean. There are aquariums, beaches, museums, sporting events, and all kinds of fun adventures to be found! RMDH has free passes for things, and no matter what hospital you go to, it can be really fun to explore all the city has to offer!
Make time for yourself: Even if it’s just a cup of coffee in a quiet room, some TV time, or a piece of cheesecake from the hospital cafeteria, make time for yourself. Often I would feel that I was failing at juggling all three kids and that I needed to be with at least one of them at all times to be successful. Having a new baby is hard on its own, nevermind having a new baby in the NICU. Give yourself grace, and remember that taking care of yourself makes you a better parent.
I was so worried that I was ruining my kids’ lives by moving them so far from everything they knew, and it turns out I had nothing to worry about. My children were positively spoiled by the love and attention of everyone out there. They made lifelong friends and got amazing experiences they would not have been able to experience otherwise. Our family united together and was strengthened by our time spent relocating.
Credit to Lauren Jones for writing this blog!
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